


I Want You To Want Me

by starkidpatronus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, POV Third Person Limited, Possibly Unrequited Love, Romance, this is barely proof-read and probably full of filler words rip, written for hpshipweeks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 13:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8015266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkidpatronus/pseuds/starkidpatronus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>"I'll shine up the old brown shoes.</em><br/><em>Put on a brand new shirt.</em><br/><em>I'll get home early from work.</em><br/><em>If you say that you love me."</em>  -- Cheap Trick<br/>Or, the one where Lavender just wants Parvati, but knows there are a million reasons why she can't have her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want You To Want Me

**Author's Note:**

> First, I can't believe this is my first Parvati/Lavender fic. I love these two much; I need to write them more often.  
> Second, this was written for larvati ship week at hpshipweeks.tumblr.com.  
> Third, the song title is from "I Want You To Want Me" by Cheap Trick, as well as the lyrics in the summary.  
> Fourth, this takes place during their sixth year, and I hope you like it!

Ron Weasley is good at many things.

He’s a good Quidditch player. He’s a good joke-teller (not as good as his brothers, of course, but in his own way). He’s a good kisser. He’s a good listener, sometimes (mostly when Hermione’s not in the room (yes, Lavender knows, of course she knows)). He’s a good boyfriend, for the most part.

He’s a good distraction.

Because who could possibly see past that insanely red hair to the quiet beauty, grace, and elegance of Parvati Patil? Who could hear over the loud complaining about Charms the delicate laughter of Parvati Patil?

Well, apparently, Lavender Brown can.

It’s not her fault, all right? She never _asked_ to fall for her best friend; Seamus is pathetic enough with all that!

But she hadn’t been able to help it. The softness of Parvati’s smile, the richness of her voice as it curved around words of astronomy, the silent looks she sent to Lavender alone. It all added up over time and then, one day, the light shone on the dark sheet of Parvati’s hair just right as she was laughing at some crass joke and—Lavender was officially a goner.

Not that it matters. Parvati may be gay, but that doesn’t mean that she’ll ever go for Lav. Parvati’s more into girls who are “organic” and “earthy” and “raw,” ones who listen to alternative music and smoke weed on Friday nights. She’s not interested in superficial ones who wear too much pink, read _Witch’s Weekly_ regularly, and have never even smoked a cigarette.

Lavender, to put it simply, is just not Parvati’s “type.”

Which is fine. Lavender will get over it eventually; after all, that’s what Ron is for. When she’s busy kissing his lips, it’s a lot easier to forget whose lips are the ones she’d much rather be kissing.

“You’re insane,” Seamus tells her one night in the common room after she’s kissed Ron goodnight, then spent the past ten minutes staring at Parvati across the room.

They’re sitting in armchairs across from each other in front of the fire-place, supposedly reading.

“I am _not_ ,” Lavender protests, shifting in her seat stubbornly.

 “Well you’re sure acting like it,” Seamus counters infuriatingly. “Honestly, Lav, what is your goal here?”

“Can we _please_ not talk about this?” Lavender asks, picking her book up off the coffee table.

“I’m sorry, but,” Seamus keeps on, “I just don’t get it. _Why_ are you dating Ron instead of _doing_ something about how you _really_ feel?”

“Oh, you’re one to talk about doing something about how you really feel,” Lavender scoffs, rolling her eyes.

“Hey!” Seamus protests. Then, his voice gets lower, quieter when he says, “At least I’m single right now. If he wants me, at least I’m available, and he knows it. You?” Seamus huffs. “She’s got no idea that you’re not perfectly happy sucking face with Ron for the rest of your life.”

Lavender merely shrugs. “Ron’s nice.”

“But we both know he’s not who you want.”

“Seamus, please,” Lavender begs on a sigh. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well you’ve been staring at her doing her Potions homework for the past twenty minutes,” Seamus declares. “Sorry if that prompts some questions.”

“Ten minutes,” Lavender mutters.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“It’s only been ten minutes,” Lavender repeats, louder this time.

“It’s been twenty,” Seamus says unequivocally. “And the amount of time I’ve spent watching you dance around this has _felt_ like twenty years.”

“I’ve only fancied her for a few months,” Lavender says dismissively.

“You’ve fancied her for _ages_!” Seamus argues. “You only _realized_ it a few months ago.”

“Same difference.”

“Lavender, if you’ve felt this way for so long,” Seamus says urgently, _“why_ are you so deliberately preventing anything from happening with her? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Have you considered the possibility that maybe _because_ I’ve fancied her ages, I’m deliberately preventing anything from happening with her?”

“No,” Seamus replies, brow furrowed. “Because that would be daft.”

Lavender sighs. “Seamus, I’m not ready. All right? To tell her, to actually _be_ with her, I—I’m just not ready for it. It’s too big right now.”

Something morphs in Seamus’s expression, becomes more understanding, and Lavender thinks she’s gotten through to him, at least a little.

“Look,” he says, voice gentler now as he leans forward in his seat. “I’m not saying you should walk up to her _tomorrow_ and tell her, ‘Hey, Parvati! By the way, I’m in love with you.’ But I am saying that you shouldn’t be dating Ron if you ever want anything between you and her to even have a _chance_ of happening. You shouldn’t be dating _anyone_ if you don’t actually fancy them, for that matter.”

“I know,” Lavender says, because she _does_ know that everything Seamus is saying _is_ right. But that doesn’t mean she’s willing to listen to him or herself just yet. “I just need time.”

Seamus nods, accepting the answer. His voice is soft when he says, “All right.” Finally, he shuts up, turning back to the book he’s reading.

But his words echo in Lavender’s head as she tries to read—“By the way, I’m in love with you.”

Lavender didn’t deny it. And she knows exactly why.

***

“Do you love Ron, Lavender?”

The question comes from Parvati one day while they’re sitting in the library together, working on Ancient Runes homework.

It catches Lavender off-guard, to say the least. “Pardon?”

“Do you love Ron?” Parvati repeats, fierce look not wavering an instant.

“I—Love takes time, Parvati,” Lavender avoids the question while avoiding her best friend’s gaze. “We’ve only been dating for a few months.”

“Yeah, but,” Parvati sighs, looking for the words to say what she wants to say. She shifts in her seat, then tries again with, “Are you _happy_ with him, Lav? Does he make you happy?”

“Yes,” Lavender half-lies.

Parvati nods. “All right.” She then turns back to her parchment.

Lavender _wants_ to continue the conversation, wants to ask why Parvati’s asking such questions, wants to ask if all of Parvati’s one-night-stands are enough to keep her happy, or if she wants more, and if so, with whom?

But she doesn’t know how to say any of that without seriously jeopardizing their friendship, or at least risking a fight, and she wants neither of those things. Thus, she merely turns back to her own scroll.

***

The end was, of course, inevitable.

Seeing Ron leave the common room alone with Hermione sealed the deal. Lavender had broken up with him an hour later.

Yes, she may have always known about who Ron really wanted, but he’d gotten so blatant and shameless with it that _everyone_ could see it, and Lavender refused to be the laughing-stock of the house. She would not be known as being part of a relationship with Another Woman. Worse still, she would not be The Other Woman in her own relationship.

A few weeks later, when she’s sitting with Dean in the common room and chatting while they work, she tells him what it was that sent her over the edge. Dean, however, insists on being difficult about it.

“Are you sure that’s why you ended it?” He peers at her after she explains. “Or were you just looking for an excuse?”

“An excuse?”

“Yeah,” he says. “Because you already wanted to end it. Because you didn’t want to be with _Ron_.”

“Dean, I don’t know what you’re implying,” Lavender says firmly, “but whatever it is, I want you to _stop_ implying it.”

“I’m not implying anything, Lavender,” Dean replies in that frustratingly even way of his. “I’m just asking a question.”

“And I could ask _you_ a few questions about why _you_ broke up with Ginny,” Lavender throws back.

Dean opens and closes his mouth a few times before sputtering out, “That’s—that’s not—”

“Not something I’m going to do,” Lavender cuts him off pointedly, “because I’m a good friend.”

Dean just crosses his arms, sits back in his seat on the other side of the window-seat, and glowers.

(Yes, Lavender knows that she could just tell him that Seamus feels the same way, but she’s too pissed off to play matchmaker right now, and anyways, she’ll let them fix their own shit. It’s not really any of her business.)

***

“My, you look nice,” Lavender remarks as she walks into the girls’ dormitory. She’s just come in from a long evening spent studying in the library.

“Thanks,” Parvati replies, smiling at Lavender via the long mirror they all pitched in money for back in third year so they could have it for the room.

She really does look lovely. She’s wearing a black blouse with gold sparkles, with a black skirt and heels to match. She has on silver hoop earrings and bangles, and her makeup is done to perfection.

She’s breathtaking, honestly.

“What, you got a hot date tonight?” Lavender jokes lightly, taking her books out of her bag and setting them on top of her trunk.

“Er—yeah, actually,” Parvati answers, looking down at her feet suddenly.

“Oh,” Lavender says in realization. But this is normal, this is what Parvati _does_ , and Lavender needs to act like it. “Right, then. Well, uh—who’s it with?”

“A Slytherin in fifth year,” Parvati says flippantly. “You don’t know her.”

“Okay.” Lavender nods, suddenly struggling to breathe as her throat closes up. “How’d you two meet?”

“We actually met this morning,” Parvati explains, starting to put various objects in her beaded purse. “She walked up to me in the Great Hall during breakfast and asked if I wanted to hang out with her by the lake tonight. I said yes.”

“The lake,” Lavender repeats, voice an octave higher than normal as she does her best to sound nonchalant. She knows exactly what people do down by the lake at night. “That sounds—fun.”

“Yeah, I’m—hoping it is,” Parvati agrees, but she sounds a bit—crestfallen? Disappointed? Lavender’s not sure how exactly to describe it, but it’s definitely not happy.

Lavender just nods in response, her tongue working on the inside of her cheek.

“Well, I’d—better get going,” Parvati says on a small sigh. “I’ll—see you later.”

“Yeah,” Lavender replies, too quickly. “See ya’ later.”

Parvati nods and starts to head out the door. She’s almost gone when Lavender calls out, “I’ve heard they’re really good kissers!”

Parvati turns back around, a crease in her brow. “Who?”

“Slytherins,” Lavender answers. “I’ve—heard good reviews.”

Parvati huffs out a small laugh, looking down again. “Well, if I get a chance to test that theory, I’ll—tell you what I think.”

Lavender nods again, willing her eyes to not tear up as her heart breaks. With that, Parvati leaves, and Lavender flings herself face-first onto her bed, breaking down into sobs.

Honestly, what had she _expected_ would happen here? Did she think that now she was broken up with Ron, Parvati would automatically come running into her arms? As if Lavender dating Ron had been the _only_ thing preventing her and Parvati being together?

Apparently, yes, that _was_ what she thought. God, she was an _idiot_.

She just wants to stop feeling like this. No, wait, she just wants Parvati.

An unbidden image comes into her mind of Parvati with this faceless girl who is _not_ Lavender. Parvati sitting with her down by the lake. Parvati _laughing_ with her down by the lake. Parvati _kissing_ her down by the lake, and then doing all the things people do when they go down by the lake.

Lavender thinks she’s going to start crying harder. Instead, she runs into the loo and vomits.

***

She doesn’t get any sleep that night. She doesn’t even try to pretend that she’s asleep when Parvati comes back to the dorm at midnight.

The room is dark, so Parvati naturally assumes that everyone else is asleep. She starts creeping around the dorm, tip-toeing to her trunk and quietly putting her stuff down.

“Hey,” Lavender says softly, but the sound still makes Parvati jump.

“ _Jesus_ , Lav,” Parvati breathes. “You scared me half to _death_.”

“Sorry,” Lavender says lamely. She leans over to her bedside table and picks up her wand, then does a quick nonverbal _Lumos._ Her wand lights up dimly, and she sees Parvati staring back at her. “So,” Lavender says, snuggling back into her pillows. “How’d it go?”

“It went all right,” Parvati says with a shrug. “Nothing to write home about.”

“Was I right?”

“About what?”

“Slytherins being good kissers.”

“Er—I don’t know,” Parvati says, starting to take off her earrings. Lavender raises her eyebrows, silently asking for an explanation. “I didn’t test it out.” Parvati sets her earrings on top of her trunk.

“Really?” Lavender asks, part-surprise, part-confusion, part-hidden-joy.

“Really,” Parvati confirms, taking her bangles off her wrists and placing them next to the earrings.

“Why not?”

Parvati shrugs again. “’Didn’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, Lav!” Parvati replies, too loudly. They both quickly look around the room to make sure the other girls are still asleep. Thankfully, they are. Parvati turns back to Lavender and whispers, “I just didn’t want to. She’s a nice girl, and I like her, but…not that way. I just—didn’t click with her like that.”

“Oh,” Lavender says blankly. Parvati starts to take off her shirt, and Lavender quickly looks the other way. “All right.”

“Yeah.” Lavender looks over to see if it’s safe, but now Parvati’s taking off her skirt, and she still hasn’t put on any pajamas. Lavender blushes violently as she looks away again. Parvati says off a yawn, “I’m really tired.” She starts tugging on her pajama bottoms. At the sound, Lavender looks back at her friend.

“Me too.”

“Then why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I—couldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“I just couldn’t.”

Parvati just _looks_ at Lavender then, with this— _heat_ that Lavender finds she can’t pull away from, and she doesn’t want to, but she needs to, and why is Parvati _still_ not wearing a shirt? The tension grows with each second they keep looking at each other, so much so that Lavender has to swallow. Parvati’s eyes follow the movement of her throat.

“Well then,” Parvati finally says, as if snapping out of a trance. She tugs an oversized t-shirt on, then takes her bra off from underneath. “We should both get some sleep.”

“Yeah,” Lavender agrees carefully. “Yeah, good plan.”

Parvati gets into bed and turns on her side, saying, “G’nite.”

“Goodnight,” Lavender whispers back, then turns on her own side so her back is facing Parvati’s.

Parvati didn’t kiss the girl. Parvati didn’t _want_ to kiss the girl. Because Parvati didn’t _fancy_ the girl. Which has never really mattered to Parvati in her past escapades.

Which begs the questions: Why does it matter now?

***

It’s a couple weeks later when Lavender’s lying on her bed, Parvati beside her, as they chat and giggle about gossip. The conversation, of course, ends up coming to the gossip Lavender is the subject of _herself_ —namely, her breakup with Ron.

“Why _did_ you end it?” Parvati asks, because Lavender just didn’t have the guts at the time to talk about matters of the heart with Parvati.

“We weren’t what each other was looking for,” Lavender says simply, shrugging. “We weren’t the ones we wanted.”

“Excuse me?”

“He wanted someone else,” Lavender states. “And I’m sure you know who that is.”

“Well, bollocks on him!” Parvati exclaims. “Only an _idiot_ wouldn’t want you, Lav.”

“Thanks,” Lavender says half-heartedly, though her cheeks grow warmer and her heart flutters a bit at hearing Parvati saying those words.

“I’m serious, Lav,” Parvati continues. “Any man who doesn’t want you doesn’t deserve you, simple as that.”

“Again, thanks,” Lavender says, her stomach lurching a bit at the reminder that Parvati thinks Lavender could only ever want men. “But it’s all right. I wanted someone else, too. We were both just trying to fool ourselves. And it didn’t work.”

“Well then,” Parvati says, adjusting her position on the bed, “who _do_ you want?”

Lavender turns to look at Parvati. She thinks about the events of the past few weeks, how it’s all added up to this point, to this moment _right now_. She takes a deep breath, reminds herself that she is a Gryffindor for a _reason_ , and finally confesses, “You, Parvati.”

Parvati’s eyes widen to the size of saucers. “You—what?”

“You’re the one that I want,” Lavender repeats, then cringes. “Sorry, didn’t mean to quote _Grease_ at you.”

Parvati giggles, and Lavender continues, “I love you, Parvati. I’m _in_ love with you. And I have been for longer than I’ve wanted to admit to myself or anyone else.”

“Oh,” Parvati replies.

“Yeah,” Lavender says softly. “And I know I’m not your _type_ , so you don’t feel the same way, and that’s—”

“Don’t feel the same way?” Parvati cuts her off. “Are you daft?”

“I—No? At least, I don’t think so—”

“Lavender, I’ve felt the same way for years!” Parvati bursts out. “I’ve been going out with all these girls to try to _forget_ about it! It didn’t work, but—that’s why I didn’t kiss that girl last week, I thought—maybe—” She sighs, looking down. Trying again, she says squarely, “The only reason I wasn’t saying anything about how I felt was because I didn’t even _know_ you were _capable_ of feeling that way about me.”

“Oh.” And now it’s Lavender’s turn to be dumbfounded, because this just changed, in two minutes, everything she’s ever thought about her relationship of six years with Parvati. “Well that’s—convenient.”

“Yeah, I’d say so,” Parvati agrees, a wry grin curling up the corners of her mouth. Then, she gets this glint in her eye that makes Lavender’s heart start _racing_. “So,” she says, her voice curling around the word melodically as she reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind Lavender’s hair. She lets her hand stay there, cupping Lavender’s cheek softly. Her lips dart from where her hand rests, to Lavender’s lips, and back up to her eyes. “What do you want to do about it?”

Lavender _lunges_ forward, cupping Parvati’s cheek in her hand and pressing their lips together.

It’s perfect. The sweet smell of the perfume Parvati’s wearing (that she’s borrowed from Lavender), the slight pressure of their lips against each other’s, the subtle way Parvati adds just a bit of tongue (enough to drive Lavender out of her fucking head). Tangling her fingers in Parvati’s long hair.

And the overall nature of it—Lavender doesn’t know how to explain it, but once their lips make contact, everything just sort of _clicks_ , as if they’re meant to fit together like this forever.

When they pull away, they’re both tearing up a bit, and then they’re giggling as they brush each other’s tears away with their thumbs.

“Well then,” Parvati murmurs, still holding Lavender close. “That wasn’t so hard, now was it?”

Lavender’s answer is to pull Parvati back in for more, because she doesn’t believe she’ll ever get enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please remember to leave a comment telling me what you liked, didn't like, and what else you might want to see the next time I write for this pairing! Thanks! <3


End file.
